


What About Now?

by abrandnewheart



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Confessions, M/M, daichi is head over heels for suga, suga is a literal angel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 19:21:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3499928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abrandnewheart/pseuds/abrandnewheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daichi isn’t sure when he and Sugawara crossed the boundary from friendship into ‘something more but without an official name because we never talked about it’.</p><p>All he knows for sure is that this is their last year together at school, and the thought of being without Suga in the future makes him feel sick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What About Now?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The_Warden](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Warden/gifts).



> This is dedicated to my darling friend Nicky. It's one of our mutual OTPs. 
> 
> She reminds me constantly that creativity takes courage and she's always wonderful about helping me when I get bummed out about my creative efforts, so this one's for her.

Daichi isn’t sure when he and Sugawara crossed the boundary from friendship into ‘something more but without an official name because we never talked about it’. He feels a weight to the air when they’re around each other, like he can’t quite get a deep enough breath. It’s like the air is all getting crushed under the words they’re not saying, the things they haven’t been able to express, and it leaves him dizzy and desperate for more oxygen.

 

All he knows for sure is that this is their last year together at school, and the thought of being without Suga in the future makes him feel sick.

 

~

 

The months pass too quickly. One minute they’re beginning their third year and searching for new team members. It feels like a mere minute had passed before they’re competing in the Inter High tournament. He looks away for a moment and it’s already the summer vacation, which means training camp with rivals. When he blinks once more, it will already be the Spring tournament preliminaries.

 

His time with Suga keeps trickling away like sand leaving an hourglass.

 

~

 

If anybody finds it weird that Suga and Daichi hold hands during the horror film that Tanaka brought to the Summer training camp, nobody mentions it. The two of them are sure that their teammates don’t realise that it is Daichi who needs the reassurance rather than Suga (despite the fact that it is Suga who screams when the jumpscares happen).

 

If anybody notices that Daichi and Suga end up curled up close to each other when they sleep on the futons, the topic isn’t brought up. Nobody notices that they hold hands under the covers while they sleep.

 

Daichi makes sure no-one takes notice of the peck he plants on Suga’s forehead as they wish each other goodnight.

 

~

 

Daichi is a man who likes specifics. He likes details. He can tell people exactly how many points Karasuno have won and conceded in his time as captain. He could recite the team’s win-loss ratio in a heartbeat, and he’d give a very good estimate of how many points individual team members have scored in official matches if anyone asked.

 

He could describe Suga’s eye colour perfectly if he was given enough time. He would tell people all about the exact shade Suga’s hair looks when the sunlight hits it in the Summer sun.  He could state all the little things that make Suga just… Suga. Daichi knows more about him than anybody else.

 

Details are important. Especially when they’re to do with someone as special as Suga.

 

~

 

He is running out of time. There are only a few months left of school, and if he doesn’t pluck up the courage to say something soon, he’s going to miss any chance he had.

 

He can’t do it at the wrong time, though, he has to do it perfectly.

 

Daichi’s not sure he could live through the consequences of getting it wrong.

 

~

 

Daichi is sure that when people see their team together they think that he is the one running the show.

 

They couldn’t be further from the truth. Daichi may be the captain, may be one of the regulars, may even be the glue that sticks them together, but he knows the truth. The truth is that without Suga they’d be a mess. Daichi keeps them together and gives instructions, but it is usually Suga who brings them optimism. When things are going wrong, when things aren’t looking great, when even Nishinoya and Tanaka are struggling to be positive, there is precisely one person who can bring them back on track. Suga. He may not be their best player, but he has heart, and that’s vital.

 

Suga is so much more important than he knows.

 

~

 

Suga makes Daichi laugh more than anyone else can, and Suga does it all with such an apparent ease. Daichi tries so very hard to keep smiles on Suga’s face. If there’s one thing he prides himself on, it’s that he can usually draw out a smile when nobody else can.

 

He feels terrible when he can’t do it though, like he’s failed at something that should be basic by now. Daichi just wants Suga to be happy, but there are times when he can’t fix things, couldn’t fix any of it even if he tried.

 

Those are the times he just holds Suga and tells him that he’ll be alright.

 

~

 

They’ve almost kissed properly, once or twice. The first time, Nishinoya and Tanaka had supposedly dared Suga to do it, and Suga had very nearly gone for it until Daichi had informed them of just how childish they were being and that they were screwing up everybody’s practicing. Suga gets caught up in their antics every so often, and he definitely isn’t one to back down from a dare.

 

Sometimes Daichi wishes he hadn’t scolded them.

 

~

 

The time keeps slipping through his fingers faster and faster. Every day feels like it’s speeding up, like they’re racing towards a conclusion that he doesn’t want to face.

 

But he doesn’t know how to say it.

 

How does a person tell their best friend that they want to stay with them forever?

 

~

 

“Do you ever think about the future, Daichi?”

“How do you mean?”

“I mean, who knows what we’ll be doing in a few years, right? Maybe we’re in a college or maybe we’re not and maybe we’re at the same one, and maybe we’re not. Maybe we don’t play volleyball any more, and maybe you’ve found yourself a pretty little girlfriend. Or maybe we’re dead. Who knows what could happen? We could drop dead a minute from now, or some asteroid could come and wipe everyone out, and nobody would be able to do anything about it. But, then, maybe we’ll live until we’re a hundred.”

“I- yeah. Then yeah, sometimes I think about that stuff.”

 

They talk for a while about what they hope the future will be like, but Daichi doesn’t mention that he thinks about spending the rest of his life with Suga.

 

~

 

When they beat Aoba Josai in the Spring High preliminary matches, it’s one of the best feelings in the world. It’s made all the sweeter by the fact that Suga’s standing on the court beside him. They beat one of their strongest rivals together, their rival who they’ve been trying so desperately hard to beat all year.

 

People are watching, so he settles for throwing his arms around Suga’s middle and giving him a hug to celebrate their win.

 

What Daichi wants to do is scoop him up and kiss him instead.

 

~

 

There comes a day when Daichi thinks he’s missed his chance. All he gets from Suga at first is a hurried explanation that he might be late to practice, but he’ll definitely be there at some point. When Daichi presses to find out why, Suga confesses that a girl in their class wanted to speak to him after classes but before club activities.

 

Daichi is sure it is a confession of feelings. And he doesn’t know which girl it is, but there’s a decent chance that Suga might take her out on a date regardless. It’s just the kind of guy he is.

 

He’s lost his chance.

 

~

 

When Suga shows up at practice looking rather deflated, Daichi has to ask him what happened.

“How did things go with that girl?”

“Huh?” Suga asks, glancing over before he looks away.

“That girl?” Daichi repeats, narrowing his eyes a little. It’s not like Suga to pretend he hasn’t heard the question. “How did it go?”

 

Suga says nothing for several moments. “She was nice,” He seems to settle on. “She told me she thinks I’m cute and rather sweet.”

“And what did you say to that?” He tries so very hard not to sound too interested.

“I said I was flattered but that I’m not interested.”

“Did she cry?” He can’t help the question that comes out. He should probably have asked something less blunt.

“Yes, but she said she wasn’t surprised because it’s obvious who I’m interested in.”

 

It’s not obvious to Daichi, and he doesn’t ask the question he so desperately wants to for fear of not liking the answer.

 

~

 

When he gets home that afternoon, all that’s on his mind is Suga. Suga is interested in someone. Apparently it’s obvious to other people, but he just can’t see it himself.

 

He’s only at home for five minutes before a flash of hope has sent him running in the direction of Suga’s place.

 

~

 

When he gets there, he’s so tired he thinks he might actually keel over. He’s run the whole way there, and his heart is pounding in his chest from something that might not actually be because of the physical exertion. He breathes heavily for several minutes to get his breath back, and then bangs on the door, steeling himself as best he can.

  
  


It has to be now. It has to be today. He can’t let any more time slip away from them - assuming Suga is even interested - just because he was too scared to say anything. He has to try and stop the sand from leaving this hourglass.

 

It has to be now, today. Suga makes Daichi a better person just by being there and Daichi cannot risk losing that now.

~

 

Daichi doesn’t know what he said to Suga that night. He couldn’t tell you what words came out of his mouth. He couldn’t tell you how Suga’s expression had changed as he spoke. It had been one huge blur from start to finish. He didn’t know the exact time, didn’t know what Suga or he were wearing, didn’t remember any of the details that other people seem to recall with perfect clarity, couldn’t recall any of the details that he’d normally remember about important events.

All he knew for sure was that somehow he’d managed to confess how he felt and Suga had more or less thrown himself into Daichi’s arms.

 

The hourglass has been turned over again.

 

Every time he asks Suga about what actually happened, he gets an earful of giggles and maybe a kiss if he’s lucky. Daichi finds that he doesn’t really mind not having specifics though.

 

Maybe when it came to being happy like this, not having the details was alright.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to maybe keep updated with my writing attempts, you can follow me on tumblr. My username is abrandnewheart.


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